Why Being More Flexible Make You Happier and 5 Tips to Achieve It

Maintaining a peaceful daily life and fostering harmonious relationships with those around us requires adaptability. This doesn’t mean being easily influenced, submissive, or saying yes to everything. Instead, it’s about being flexible enough to harmonize situations and avoid direct confrontation or harsh communication. Generally, being flexible in all areas of life leads to greater happiness. If this seems surprising, improbable, or impossible, here are five tips to help you become less rigid and more flexible in your daily life.

1. Move Away from The “Adapt at All Costs” Mechanism Why Being More Flexible Make You Happier and 5 Tips to Achieve It

Adaptation is beneficial, but not at the expense of losing your individuality to fit into a group. Everyone needs to belong, to feel secure, and to find their place in a group. To achieve this, we often unconsciously employ various mechanisms, including adaptability. This is generally positive, as long as it encourages harmonious relationships without sacrificing our freedom of expression.

Adapting and saying yes when you mean no, constantly changing yourself to please others out of fear of judgment or rejection, leads to inauthentic relationships where you can’t be your true self. This isn’t genuine adaptation but avoidance avoiding saying what you think, hiding your true self, and fearing to set boundaries. To improve flexibility and happiness, start by observing whether you employ this "adapt at all costs" mechanism. Simply observe without judgment, and assess if the desire to belong is worth it.

2. Adapt to Yourself First Move Away from The “Adapt at All Costs” Mechanism

Trying to please everyone by erasing your personality and losing spontaneity is exhausting and rarely effective long-term. The most fulfilling relationships are those where you feel free to be yourself, express your limits, and listen to your own needs rather than others’. To enhance flexibility, learn to belong to yourself before seeking group approval. Seek self-validation, recognition, and affection.

This isn’t an overnight process and requires genuine learning. Start by changing how you talk to yourself be encouraging, positive, and kind, and avoid self-criticism that dampens your spirits.

3. Consider the Cost of Adapting

Adapting at all costs to meet others’ needs doesn’t foster happiness. Instead, ask yourself if being flexible serves your interests. In any situation, determine why you’re willing to adapt. If it’s to be loved at all costs, reconsider. However, if adapting doesn’t cost you much and helps ease tension or improve a relationship, it’s a sign of self-confidence. This shows you can consider others’ needs without feeling threatened.

4. Find Other Alternatives

Healthy relationships don’t require one party to always give in or expect the other to. Sometimes, it’s the relationship dynamics that need adjusting. If family gatherings are stressful because no one wants to host, leading to conflicts over chores, consider meeting outside at a park, for a picnic, or at a restaurant.

Avoid the trap of reducing choices to two unsatisfactory options: changing nothing or compromising completely. Reframe the question: instead of asking, "Do I want to adapt or not?" ask, "Do I want to adapt or feel good?" This shift focuses on your well-being and encourages solution-oriented thinking, opening up new possibilities.

5. Adapt to Avoid Suffering

In relationships, you can choose to adapt or stand firm, as long as it's for the right reasons your well-being and maintaining healthy interactions. But what about external circumstances beyond your control? For instance, during the pandemic, many decisions were out of our hands. Resisting reality only leads to frustration and depression. Accepting the new reality, even if it's unpleasant, helps regain control.

To avoid suffering, adapt intelligently. Focus on actionable steps to regain control and lessen fear. Assess your fear levels and consider what you’d do with 10% or 20% less fear. Take small steps to identify and overcome blocks, finding acceptable ways to adapt instead of enduring hardship.

By adapting smartly, without compromising your values, principles, personality traits, or desires, you can avoid suffering, feel more at peace, and ultimately, be happier.